Trashmouth and Spaghetti man take on the world
by DammitJanet9182
Summary: Richie and Eddie had been in love with each other for years, this takes place when they're about 16-18, and after they defeat it, a series of one-shots/mini-stories about them just being happy and in love, taking the homophobic town of Derry by storm, bickering and falling deeper in love as they do. Cherry-picked canon from book/movies (both 1990 and 2010's adaptions)


Eddie jolted upright in his bed. Those big brown eyes of his scanning the room before they settled on me.

"Jesus fucking Richie you're gonna give me a heart attack,"

"Not if I give your mom one first spaghetti man."

"Fuck off." He huffed, upturning the covers for me. There was a breif moment of silence where I thought he had gone back to sleep, but me and my dumb fucking mouth cant be alone together in silence for more than a minute.

"Sorry if I woke you up Eds. I just couldn't sleep."

"Nightmares?"

"Pip pip cheerio old sport." I nodded as Toodles the english butler, sliding off my shoes and climbing into bed with him. It's the middle of winter, so his usual squeaky clean, asylum white sheets have been replaced with flannel. His bed smells like him. When I first met him I didn't think he had a smell because the little guy showers so often, its there but its faint and indistinguishable unless you, like me, have made it your life's mission to know everything there is to know about Edward Kasprack.

"And don't call me Ed's dickwad." He hissed mid-yawn.

"I love the way you talk to me Eddie baby it really makes me feel good about myself."

"You're the one who climbs in my window practically every night." He turned toward me.

"Guess im a glutton for punishment." I winked

"Kinky," He yawned again, wrinkling his nose and his perfect goddamn freckles.

"Not as kinky as your m-"

"Zip it trashmouth or you can sleep on the floor."

"That's no way to talk to your stepfather Eduardo-"

"I'm serious cut it out" He flicked me in the middle of my forehead, he was not serious however, because spaghetti man needed me to sleep as much as I needed him. Well maybe not as much but he didn't kick me out of his bed, which is a start. A few seconds later he pulled me in, resting his forehead against my chest and wrapping his twiggy little arms around my waist. I ran my fingers through his hair in gentle circles. It was so soft, and clean. He tangled his legs in mine, and then hesitated. "What the fuck, since when do you wear socks to bed thats disgusting." He whispered, not letting go of me.

"Since it's colder than a witches tit. Which would you rather have, freezing troll feet in the bed with you or socked troll feet."

"You're right about you being a troll." He giggled, then clapped a hand over his mouth in an attempt to not wake his mother.

"Shhh." his little laugh is enough to send my heart leaping out of my chest. Which he probably hears. And the little shit giggles again, which restarts the vicious cycle. There's just a touch of street lamp coming in through the window, now closed. Eddie leaves it a little bit open for me, even in the winter. Thus the flannel sheets. The light, as faint as it is, lights up his face. I want to kiss him but I don't. I want to tie his little arms around me like a tourniquet but I don't.

Derry is a homophobic town. That's just how it is. It's a teensy weensy town full of men with teensy weensy dicks and teensy weensy minds but that's not why I won't… haven't...won't tell Eddie how I feel. Quite frankly the town of Derry can lick my dick and my balls. The problem, is that Eddie feels untouchable. Like I don't even deserve the time I do get with him, because all I can do is seize up and make 'your mom' jokes until the cows come home. And even if I were to tell him, he would be concerned about the dickless mob. And his mom has him half convinced that if a homo so much as breathes on him he's going to keel over and die from AIDS. It's a good thing I'm only half of a homo I guess.

It's Saturday morning, which means his mom (bestill my heart) is taking her weekly shopping trip, leaving spaghetti man and I alone, knee-bucklingly alone.

"What do you wanna do today Ed's" I say, ruffling his hair. He grabs my wrist.

"Cut that out will you? I just gelled that."

"Ah Spaghetti man gels his hair, what a good nice clean boy that spaghetti man."

"Shut the fuck up Richie."

"Make me."

"You think I won't?" There's something in the way he's looking at me that makes me want to put on fresh chapstick.

"I don't think you will!" He pins me down against his bed, knees on either side of my hips. "Get off man" Oh no.

"Make me."

"Eddie, seriously get off of me."

"Why?" And then he figured out why. "Jesus fuck Richie, really?" He jumped off of me, disgusted.

"Im sorry Eds it's not like I can control it." The I switched into kinky briefcase. "According to my calculations- "

"Beep beep Richie."

"You were on top of me and I-"

"Beep fucking beep"

"I'm sorry." I finally shut up.

"You didn't seem very sorry when your dick was-"

"Beep beep Eddie." I joked, trying and failing not to show the hurt in my voice.

"Sorry Rich-"

"Just stop. Please."

"Richie I'm not mad, happens to the best of us." He slung his arm around me.

"It's not supposed to." Eddie was silent. He didn't seem upset anymore, a slight blush on his cheeks that I tried to ignore. Tried and failed. My face got hot too. Feverish even.

"I feel that way sometimes too. About other boys. About you." He whispered after a long pause, his arm still around my shoulders.

"You do?"

"Unless that was really just a fluke then pretend I didn't say anything." His face was beet red. I took his arm off of my shoulder and held his hand at my side, shaking my head.

"I don't think it was a fluke Eds."

"Don't call me Eds." He squeezed my hand. Eddie put his head on my shoulder and I gently kissed the top of his head through his hair. I squeezed his hand back. We were no strangers to being close. This was a typical position for us to assume at the barrens, or in the hammock, but it somehow felt different. More intimate but not in a sexual way, just pure unadulterated vulnerability. He, inturn plants one on my shoulder.

"Sorry."

"S'okay, I think that's the first time you've apologized for calling me names."

"Don't get used to it spaghetti man." He laughs and punches my arm with his other hand. Still holding mine tightly. He then buries his head in the crook of my neck. I don't tell him then. Not because I think he doesn't feel the same way, I'm not a fucking moron, but because I know that he does. I can't be what Eddie deserves. He is so good. And clean. And I am loud and obnoxious and I make a mess of everything. I bury my nose in his hair, searching for the Eddie smell but only getting irish spring. So I search harder.

"Geez Richie are you trying to smell my brain."

"How much soap do you use? That can't be good for the environment man," I tried out a new hippy voice.

"At least I use soap asshole, seriously do you brush your teeth with garlic."

"Your mom doesn't seem to mind."

"Seriously dude. Stop making jokes about my mom."

"Ah whatever, you know you love me."

"So?" He said quietly.

"Me too." Dammit I wasn't going to tell him.

"You too what?"

"I love you Eddie."

"Shut up that was totally not how I wanted to tell you."

"Tell me what."

"Fuck you." He paused. "I love you too asshole, god I can't believe that's how it came out." He grabbed me by the shirt, holding it tight in his fists, forcing me to look at it. "I love you love you Richie."

"Me too." I swallowed, looking down at him.

"Gay," He whispered as he pulled my lips down to his. My eyes widened. What the fresh fuck. He pulled away tentatively before I could register what was happening. I pulled him back to me, kissing him back like the world was going to end. Part of me felt like it was going to. Like this burning feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had been feeling for him for the better part of years was going to burn out when I realized he liked me back. As we were kissing I checked to make sure it was still there and sure enough it was scorching me from the inside like always, if not brighter and hotter. His tongue seemed to be requesting permission to enter so I opened my mouth a little and sure enough, he slid it into my mouth, and I was so overcome with the feeling that I almost forgot to kiss him back. He was still clutching ym shirt, his knuckles went white with how tight he was holding on. My hands were holding on to his waist, pulling him closer, inching up the sides of his polo shirt to put my hands on his bare skin. He climbed over me, his knees on either side of one of my legs. I finally had my hands on his skin when we heard the front door open from downstairs.

"Eddie bear, I got your aspirator refilled." His mom croaked from downstairs.

"Fuck," I muttered as he climbed off of me.

"Is someone up there with you? It better not be the Tozier boy, I don't like the way he talks." I giggled as he clamped his hand over my mouth.

"No mom, no one's up here." He yelled downstairs, out of breath, I was proud of that. "You have to go, my mom hates you." he whispered.

"I guess she doesn't take kindly to me cheating on her with her own son." I whispered back.

"God do you ever shut up?" He rolled his eyes, smiling, and pulled me back in. "I'm serious though you have to go." He pulled me up and started pushing me toward the window. As I shimmied down the drainpipe I saw him watching me and for the first time I couldn't bring myself to look away. Eddie Kasprack looked at me like I was the stars, and I felt some, not all, just the top layer of my insecurities turn to dust. When I got to the ground I blew him a dramatic kiss, like a woman in an old movie whose husband was going to war. He pretended to catch it and zip it into his fanny pack, which made me laugh.

"Meet at my house?" I shouted up at him, letting up the kickstand on my bike. He just nodded and smiled. Holy fuck.


End file.
